All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize