When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I believe in your delicious
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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