just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
