Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize