margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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