I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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