Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
