I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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