That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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