you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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