found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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