There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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