I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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