I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
