Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
