You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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