I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
