Your mouth is God's brothel.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize