Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
