oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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