I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize