Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize