your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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