If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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