Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
