I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
