While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
