i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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