let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
