i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
