I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
