My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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