Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
