Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i now understand why vodka
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
