Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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