doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
