i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
