Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
