You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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