Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
