Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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