Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
