No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
