why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
