Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
