Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize