Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
