I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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