Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
