saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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