Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
