found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
