I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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