I wannas sexs uuuuu
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
