i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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