And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
