This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
