I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
