Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
