Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Someone shattered a urinal.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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