I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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