just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
