everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
