with your own penis?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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