And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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