Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
