On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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