Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
