I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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