What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sext me about skeletons
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
