I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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