i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
